I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
