Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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