just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just wanna soil my oats bro
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
