I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Boobs are out for the taking
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize