Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
