And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
