Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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