not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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