Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
