it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My ass is underappreciated
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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