I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
