Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just invented taco cereal.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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