I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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