i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
