"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
