She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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