He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize