YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
