i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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