I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
