I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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