why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
