69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
