I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize