i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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