I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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