I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
