We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
