dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize