she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
