bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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