The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize