I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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