I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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