CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
