so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize