Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
