I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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