worst night to have a conscience
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
