Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
