Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I forget how to act sober
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
