there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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