i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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