I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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