By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize