you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
