Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
