I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We have started to decorate penises.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
