biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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