no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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