I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
