dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
