I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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