lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
