Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
