What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
