Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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