you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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