i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
