Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize