That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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