He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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