We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize