please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
