Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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