MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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