Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
