why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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