I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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