he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
