well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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