he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
