the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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