chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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