My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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